I’m Scared of What You Want.

“Thy will be done” said fearfully

In the garden.

Sweat like blood and

Tears like what?

There must have been tears.

When there was no other way

He still asked for one.

Did he think there was?

It’s not the same at all

But I always think there is.

If it is good for him to ask

For another way to save every soul

It must be good for me to ask

If there’s another way to save mine.

Not without Him,

But without this process.

It’s probably normal for the refiner

To hear begs for difference as

We pass through fire.

“Another one”

“A colder one”

“Not a fire at all”

Do we know what we ask for

When we ask for the will of the Lord?

Of course not, but trust is involved.

That’s how we can ask for the contradictory

Honestly.

“Lord remove this from me”

“Lord do what you want,

And make me want it.”

Both honest,

Scared,

Wanting change.

Both spoken out of one side of my mouth.

Both trusting that what you want is good

But what the Lord wants is better.

Sometimes those wants overlap.

I’m often fearful that they don’t.

Help me want what You want.